NewsRadio: Jimmy James on Advertising

blogram

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Jimmy James: Hey kids, when’s big photo shoot.

Lisa: I’m not doing the shoot.

Jimmy James: Not doing the shoot? What are you crazy?
Tha-That’s free advertising for the station.
Honey, free advertising, that’s something you just can’t buy.

Lisa: However cute I may or may not be really has nothing to do with my competence as a journalist.

Jimmy James: Oh yeah? I won’t bet there isn’t a single licensed bloom master on the swedish bikini team either but tell you what
those girls really know how to sell some beer.

Lisa: Oh yeah, but that’s advertising.
You know, advertising is inherently deceptive.

Jimmy James: I’m sorry, WHAT?

Lisa: Advertising is deceptive.

Jimmy James: Lemme tell you something little miss.
Advertising pays our bills, alright?
Advertising pays your salary, advertising is what made this country great.

Lisa: O, Ok, maybe I misspoken.

Jimmy James: What was the constitution of the United States?

Lisa: Uh.. Documen..

Jimmy James: No, it is an advertisement and advertisement for liberty when in the course of human events
I’m telling you that’s right up there with “Put a tiger in your tank” and “Where’s the beef”
Don’t you understand?
I’m sorry, I gotta get some air.

Dave: I think maybe you should apologize.

Lisa: Oh, he’s not serious.

Jimmy James: Hell it wasn’t for advertising you know what you two could be doing, huh?
You two’d be giving out Sesame Street tote bags during PBS pledge except they won’t say Sesame Street on.
No, no, they wouldn’t say that if they said that, that would be…?

Lisa: Ad..

Jimmy James: ADVERTISING! That’s right! Hell if you two
had your way with it probably wouldn’t have made the Sesame Street, would there?
Would there?

Lisa: Dave?

Dave: Just reading some ads not involved at all.

Jimmy James: Yeah, that’s right.
There’d be no Ernie, would there? No, no there would be no Bert.
Bye bye. Bye bye to Grover. Bye bye, to Cookie Monster.
No, there’d be no Snuff-a-lot because there’d be no trash can, there ain’t no Oscar to grouch.

Jimmy James: Not to mention Kermit the damn frog!

Jimmy James: What?

Lisa: I will do the photo shoot.

Jimmy James: Oh, well you know, don’t want you doing anything you don’t wanna do.

A Few Good DSPs

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*PP … Premium Publisher
*DSP … Delusionally Self-Important Poseurs

—At a recent IAB board meeting.

PP: DSP, I just have one last question before I call Rob Norman and Matt Spiegel.

PP: If you’re placing exchange orders in a transparent fashion, and you don’t arb the media?

PP: Then why is my tier one inventory suffering?

PP: Why would it be necessary to cut off the networks?

DSP: Audience targeted media optimization is complicated…

PP: That’s not what you said. You said you weren’t arbiting a media because of the transparency. You said you were transparent. And I said “Totally transparent?” You said “Is there any other kind?” I could have the IAB secretary read back to you…

DSP: I know what I said I don’t have to have it read back to me like I’m an idiot.

PP: Then, why the big margin? DSP?

DSP: Sometimes you have to take a position in the inventory.

PP: No sir, you made it clear just a minute ago you’d never arbitrage like the networks. So your margins and evaluations shouldn’t be that high, should they, DSP?

DSP: You, snotty little bastard.

Prosecutor: Your honor, I’d like to ask for a recess?

PP: I’d like an answer to the question, Randal.

Judge: The IAB will wait for an answer.

PP: If your agency partners place buy orders based on proprietary data segments then why did my prices suffer? DSP? You bought look alike segments on cheaper sites because that’s what your agency told you to do. And when my pricing suffered, you made an excuse. You claimed the audience segments were bad, you blamed the data aggregators. And you gained the exchanges and pocketed the difference.

PP: DSP, did you cheapen my CPM?

Judge: You don’t have to answer that question.

DSP: I’ll answer the question. You want answers?

PP: I think I’m entitled to.

DSP: You want answers?

PP: I want the truth.

DSP: You can’t handle the truth.

DSP: Son, we live in the world with Ads and those Ads have to be bought by firms with technology.
Who’s gonna buy it? You? You, Mr. Media Agency? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You scoff at audience segmentation. You curse the DSPs. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. And while the hype in our sector is excessive, it drives efficiency. And my valuation while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drive efficiency. You don’t wanna know the truth cause deep down in places you don’t talk about it IAB meetings. You want us auctioning your inventory. You need us auctioning your inventory.

We use words like Data, RTB, Exchange. We use these words as our back bone of life spent buying media. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to someone who sells targeted advertising under the very blanket of optimization that I provide and then questions the manner in which I optimize it. I would rather you just say thank you and went on your way

Otherwise, I suggest you build an algorithm and do it yourself.

Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to.

PP: Did you cheapen my prices?

DSP: I did the job I was supposed to do.

PP: Did you cheapen my prices?

DSP: You’re god damn right I did!

コリント書 十三章 (Corinthians 13)

blogram

最高の道である愛。

たとえ、人間の不思議な言葉、
天使の不思議な言葉を話しても、
愛がなければ私は鳴る銅鑼、響くシンバル。

たとえ、予言の賜物があり、
あらゆる神秘、あらゆる知識に通じていても、
愛がなければ私は何物でもない。

たとえ、全財産を貧しい人に分け与え、
たとえ、称賛を受ける為に自分の身を引き渡しても、
愛がなければ私には何の益にもならない。愛は寛容なもの。

慈悲深いものは愛。

愛は妬まず高ぶらず誇らない。
見苦しい振る舞いをせず、
自分の利益を求めず、
怒らず、人の悪事を数えたてない。

愛は決して滅び去ることはない。
予言の賜物なら廃りもしよう。
不思議な言葉ならば止みもしよう。
知識ならば無用となりもしよう。

我々が知るのは一部分、
また予言するのも一部分である故に、
完全なものが到来するときには、
部分的なものは廃れさる。

私は幼い子供であった時、
幼い子供のように語り、
幼い子供のように考え、
幼い子供のように思いを巡らした。

ただ、一人前の者になった時、
幼い子供のことは止めにした。

我々が今見ているのは、
ぼんやりと鏡に映っているもの。
その時に見るのは顔と顔を合わせてのもの。

私が今知っているのは一部分。
その時には自分が既に完全に知られているように、私は完全に知るようになる。

だから引き続き残るのは信仰、希望、愛、この三つ。

このうち最も優れているのは、愛。

Love

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

春よ来い

blogram

さ~くら~、咲く季節に、はなれ離れになっても~♪

と、のんきに鼻歌を歌いながら、

久しぶりに長瀧氏の美味しいカクテルを戴きにサンセットに行って参りました。

棚に置いてあったサントリーの「ジャポネ桜」という

リキュールが気になって、一杯作っていただく事に。

写真(9)

そして出来たのがコレ。

写真(8)

長瀧氏命名「春よ来い」

私「…え、『春が来た』ではなくてですか?」

長「いや、『春よ来い』なんだな~」

私「…『春は恋』、でもなくて?」

長「いや~、『春よ来い』」

私「…『春よ来い』、っすよね」

と、珍しく頑なでした。

…松任谷由実?

お味のほうは、桜の花の塩漬けのような味がほんのりして、

甘くて、塩っぱくて、桜まんじゅうを食べているかのような感じ。

とても日本的なカクテルでした。

使っていただいたグラスはこちら。

写真(10)

私のお気に入りのグラスです。

ステムのセクシーさも、持ちやすい丁度良い大きさのボディも、

控え目に湾曲した縁が唇にフィットする感じも、

ボディの彫り物の繊細なセンスも、全てが丁度いい感じ。

贅沢な一杯を演出してくれました。

彼のセンスの良さを感じます。

カクテルで季節を楽しむのは、やっぱり鮨に似てますね。

グラスホッパー

blogram

とんでもなく美味しい生ハムがあったり、
寒い冬には体に滲みるビーフシチューがあったり、
常連さんからの美味しい差し入れにありつけたりと、
色々と楽しみの多いバー・サンセット。

そんな数多くの楽しみのうちの一つがこのカクテル。

grasshopper
グラスホッパー
~Hanai 氏@Sunset作~

標準的なレシピはこちら

グリーン・ペパーミント・リキュール
ホワイト・カカオ・リキュール
生クリーム
を 1:1:1 をシェークして、カクテル・グラスで。

ペパーミントのすーっとする感じと、カカオリキュールの香ばしさ、
生クリームが絹のような喉越しに仕上げる。
デザートカクテルとしては、最高峰ではないでしょうか。

もしもサンセットに行く機会があったら、こんな風に注文してみてください。
「Hanai ホッパー」

絶対後悔しません。